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Level of Affection in a Relationship is it ingrained, or learned

09/08/2006Hits: 885
internet datingreplies: 4

Do you think that being affectionate in relationships is ingrained or learned?

I'd like to start a serious discussion about this. I think about this a lot. For instance, say that you were never very affectionate before, but suddenly you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is VERY affectionate. Would it bother you, make you uncomfortable, or would you become more affectionate to the other person?

And also from the other side as well, say that you have always been VERY affectionate and you meet someone who isn't very affectionate at all? Would it affect the relationship? Would it be a deal breaker? Or would you try to get them to become more affectionate?

What if you were VERY affectionate and you found yourself in a relationaship with someone who didn't like the affection at all? Got angry with you when you were too "touchy-feely"? Pushed you away?

I hear a lot of people ( especially men ) complain a lot that they don't get enough attention, that they "crave" it. So, I'm curious if GIVING more affection would result in GETTING more affection.

Thanks for any comments, advice, stories that you are willing to share.

 
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19/08/2006Anonymous

I have to believe that its a combination of learned and depends on who your with. I found that the more relationships that ended badly is less I feel affectionate. I find that as I got older I was less likely to be affectionate. Maybe a defense mechanism.

09/08/2006dating and advice

I think that, ultimately, it is either there...or it isnt. It depends on the people. If it is meant to last a while then there will not be discussion of this b/c the two wont be able to resist one another, and the thought wont be there.

On the other hand...pushing is not going to solve anything and all you are doing is procrastinating on the inevitable. If one doesnt want the other equally, then how can they be equals. Isnt that what a relationship is about?

POINT: There is an exeption to getting used to acting out of the ordinary, but like i said, it shouldnt stop a person...and if it does than there was no chance.

09/08/2006advice on dating
To start I've been in a relationship with a guy who was not a affectionate man, when he would get off work I would be waiting to greet him with kisses or even something extra. would try to sit in his lap, give a massage; you the things that a woman does for her man but this guy was unbearable.He would say he's not used to that, no woman has ever should him so much attention??? I would say what about your parents did you get hugs or kissses from your mom, grandparents? Said his mom passed away when he was 6 years old. I said that would have something to do with it but what about pass relationships- you never let anyone close to you because you felt that they too would leave you??? He had some issues ,but now he wants to receive love and affection but I 'm not feeling it for him any more, he didn't want it or didn't know what to do to keep it. It just goes to show that a person can change a person for better or for the worst ,at least in this relationship.
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